3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize