Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
