i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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