Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
im holly from the hills drunk
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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