I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
