ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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