So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
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