someone get that fucking seahorse.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
