Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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