Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
