shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
