A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
