Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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