He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
