I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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