I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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