apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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