last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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