So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
