btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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