About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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