i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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