I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
