had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
