hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
