Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
