whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
