plz talk dirty to me
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
