I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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