What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
