I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
