LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
