her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
