Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
