well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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