"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
