There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
