The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
