drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
