so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
