Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
