He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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