im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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