I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize