you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
