My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He kissed a someone with a penis
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
