So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
