from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Randomize
