Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
