I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
