I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
