you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He is an equal opportunity slut.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
