1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
