he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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