There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Randomize
