What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
