I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
