please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
