So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
