I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
