You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
